The Size of the Heart, Not the Size of the Clothes

30 thoughts on “The Size of the Heart, Not the Size of the Clothes”

  1. Absolutely beautiful! And when considering the life your body gave, that makes it even more beautiful. I know I have experienced very similar emotions and true beauty certainly is all the things you described.

  2. Tomorrow, it will be 8 weeks since I had my daughter and I completely agree with the author’s feelings of disconnect with her body. I’m having a hard time with the change in fitness level too, I used to be able to workout for long periods of time and feel fine, and now I feel so run down (lack of sleep and breastfeeding a very hungry baby). Thanks for writing this!

  3. WOW!! I felt this 3 years ago and ever scene then. I am not expecting my second child at the end of the year and I could only imagine what my body will do after the second one. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know everything you said is true and I need to work on changing my mind set.

  4. Thanks for the post it! I just had a hysterectomy and am feeling really bad about the weight that I have put on since. I really needed that one right now!

  5. Thank you for the heart felt post. The changes that happen to your body after pregnancy are enormous. Couple that with hormones racing around and lack of sleep can make it even worse. But you know what our bodies are amazing, just look at the perfect little people that they create. And we are so hard on ourselves. We need to stop and recognize that we are all beautiful and amazing, and are doing the most spectacular job raising the next generation. And at the end of the day I have stretch marks all over my tummy and its is a long way away from the flat, smooth tummy I had before I became pregnant but I don’t curse them like I used to. 9 months after the birth of my second child I embrace them as a reminder of my pregnancies and the amazing job that I did giving my babies the best start to life.

  6. Thanks a lot for this post. I’m also known for being tiny and virtually unable to gain weight, but I’m always fearful that when I have a child, I’ll be fat and whatnot. This story gave me the courage to look past things like that and for who I truly am, instead of my figure. Thanks <3

  7. My son just turned six months a few days ago and this article felt as though I was writing it myself. I am struggling very much with my after baby body. I am a freshman in college and seeing all the other beautiful girls who have the body I used to is especially difficult. I am so thankful for your insight to these feelings and they will not last if I won’t let them! I just want to thank you so much for posting this, it has truly given me the hope and motivation to see myself as beautiful inside and out! My body gave me something I can enjoy and cherish for the rest of my life, I need to be thankful!
    Thank you again for your inspiration!

  8. im fourteen years old and im pregnant. i do not believe in abortion and got pregnant on purpose. I was really excited. my family start having babies around the age of 16 so they understood. at school i have really supportive friends but those who aren’t my friends are not so supportive. it’s very difficult for me to get up and even think about going to school. my and 2 month old belly are in tip top shape so far but that means i can get excused from going to school. Even though my friends are there for me i still feel down at times. i don’t know what it is…

    1. Taylor: That’s a lot of responsibility for a 14 year old to handle! Do you have a guidance counselor at school that you can talk to about your emotions surrounding your pregnancy? I wish you the best!

  9. I’m 17 and had my baby girl 2 months ago. No one prepared me at all for the changes my petite frame would go through and I was devastated. This led to a lot of destructive behavior towards my body. Reading this though made me realize I need to give myself a break, I just brought something wonderful into this world and need to focus on loving her and not hating my body. It’ll heal in time but her? She’ll grow up in a blink of an eye.
    Thank you so much

  10. I am also a young mom. I had my son when I was 21 and experienced everything you did as well. I was so upset that I didn’t bounce back to pre-baby size like all of these models and actresses. Now at 23, I realize that my little man thinks I am the most beautiful person in the world and I wouldn’t trade my size 4/6 pre baby size for any of the memories I have made with my son. He tells me daily, “mommy you’re chute,” that right there is enough for me to see that the size of my clothes doesn’t matter and what does is that I am a wonderful mom to my son, love him unconditionally, and teach him to be a good person.

  11. OMG this just made me teary eyed. I am 9 weeks pregnant and a mother of 2 lil girls 10/11…I havent seen my old body in years, i get a glimpse of it every now and again in the spring/summer months when i am gung-ho for working out and eating right. Now that i found out im pregnant again and its gotten cold outside, I have been eating whatever, laying around and just feeling blahhhhh….I need to look and find what my REAL beauty is and stop defining it by my waist size. Thanks!!!

  12. I am 24 years old and went through the EXACT emotional roller coaster. I had the small body and now have the same stretch mark, bigger/saggier chest, and wider hips. My son is 4 1/2 months old now and am just beginning to come to terms that I will never have that small high school figure exactly, but am okay about it. Someone told me too, “It took your body 9 months to gain the weight, give it that same time to lose it.” And they were right, give our poor bodies a break and enjoy these moments in our lives.

  13. hi um first of all you are beautiful. when I was 14 I was raped by my best friends brother who at the time I really liked.he was 15 turning 16 at the time. he was drink one night and came to my house to talk or so I thought. at first I didn’t realize he was drunk till we got in my room and I was able to smell him. there and then he raped me. I didnt tell anyone because I didn’t want people to know I was weak enough for some one to take control of me. at the age of 14 I was a very skinny girl I only weighed 75-80 pounds. my pregnancy was rough because both of my mom died in the 9/11 attacks an at the time my dad was in Iraq. thankfully he came home safely and he had a surprise waiting for him. i gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on august 13 2009. I am now 17 and my baby boy Andrew Derek is 2 years old. the man who raped me is now 18-19 and loves Andrew very much. I deal with bullying at my school. people are constantly calling me a slut, whore, cunt. for something I couldn’t control. we told people that we willingly had sex. his sister who was my best friend committed suicide when we were 16 and I miss her so much. I cut on a daily bases. and when I was pregnant with andrew I took the worst and most depressing picture a teen could take. a picture with my pregnant stomach with the words slut whore worthless and more written on my stomach because it was true at the time and that was how I felt.

    1. I am SO sorry you have gone through this. Operation Beautiful is here for you if you ever need support. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and so is your baby!!!!

        1. I am so sorry. You need to talk to someone in real life! Are you still in high school? Maybe you can talk to your guidance counselor tomorrow. I did that in school and it made me feel so much better.

          1. I don’t really trust people. so I like to vent to my brother he sort of understands I mean he listens to me. and yeah I’m a junior in high school. it’s awefull but I push through

          2. It’s good that he listens to you! I agree – I hated high school. Just keep your eye on the prize – study hard and get ready for college, which is MUCH better! 🙂 You can do it!

  14. haha thanks. it’s not like I’m dumb I take all ap classes and I’m going to be the valedictorian. haha but thanks.

      1. that’s good. I don’t people saying cutting isn’t good and I know it’s not but it really helps release stress and I don’t know I like the way it feels.

  15. I don’t know. I cut all the time and people say it’s not good and I know it’s not good but it releases stress for me and I like how it feels

    1. The problem with cutting (which I used to do too and wrote about in the Operation Beautiful book) is that it is a very unhealthy coping mechanism. You need a healthier way to cope with stress! What REALLY helped me was running. Whenever I was sad or mad, I would put my iPod on and go for a run or long walk.

  16. I am in the midst of cancer treatment right now and I am afraid that I am going to die. Plus, my hair is falling out and I feel like an outcast because my friends but one are avoiding me and the only person i can talk to is my brother and I only feel better when I talk with him. I feel helpless and alone. How do I handle it. With all the pain it really is draining me out.

    1. I am so sorry about your cancer. 🙁 That is very scary. Most hospitals have a program where you can talk to people who went through something similar – like a mentorship program? Maybe you can check into that? Also, I really recommend getting the Operation Beautiful book to read – there are many cancer survival stories in there!

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