She’s Not “Fat,” She’s Your Sister

24 thoughts on “She’s Not “Fat,” She’s Your Sister”

  1. What I love to do is after I get out of the shower, is to write in the steam on the mirror “you are beautiful & I love you” because I KNOW my younger sister will see it. She battles with herself all the time about being “fat” which she’s not particularly “fat.” she’s NOT skinny in no sense but she’s VERY athletic & she looks completely healthy & i know this has to make her feel better about herself. 🙂

    1. You’re absolutely right. When we tear down our “sisters” we’re really tearing down ourselves inside. Our criticism of others is a facade to hide the criticism/detestment we have for ourselves. You are so right, and we have got to be on each others’ team.

    Stand up tall and head held up with pride. If you think someone is thinking ‘Ew, who is this girl? She needs to lose 5 lbs!’ just be like
    lol =DD

  3. I think that is a great idea! I wish i had thought of it a few years ago when my older sisters still lived with me. Although we have been known to take cheap shots regarding eachothers weight, I have always loved my sisters and idolized them as the most beauitful girls in the world. I think it would have been beneficial for me to send them such a powerful message to show them how I think about them.

  4. Out of the ten people I shared the gym with this morning, only one of them looks like she’d be smokin’ hot in a bikini (hint: not me),

    i bet every one them would be amazing in a bikini. you included.

  5. I’m 16 and this really caught my attention because i weigh about 145 and im 5 3″ and my brother is 17 and calls me fat and chubby in front of his friends. I’ve tried to tell my parents and theyve talked to him but he still does it when there not around and it really gets to me because hes a little muscular and im not skinny obviously. I go to the gym as often as i can but i feel like im not loosing weight so im not sure what to do:(

    1. Ashley – There is something wrong with your brother. His behavior is not acceptable socially. He could be depressed or angry in a clinical way. Understand that what your brother says is NOT about you – it’s really about him and something wrong in his own head. I know it hurts, but when he says that, try saying in a really calm voice, “John, you shouldn’t speak to women like that,” and then turn on your heel and leave. All of his friends will think you totally showed him!!

    2. this happens with my brother too, except he’s younger than me and essentially has a six pack. I have been chubby since I was little, and weigh 140 at 5’3. He makes remarks like “why do you take up so much space” and “you live in the kitchen” and it really gets to me because its hard to have your self esteem slashed in your own home, where you are supposed to feel happy and supported.
      For losing weight, it has been a life-long battle for me. I got an app for counting calories and it really has helped, because I realized that I was eating out of boredom. Also, I drink tea before eating so I feel fuller and go to the gym, and have cut out junk food.
      Honestly, everyone is made to be who they are and I truly do believe that everyone is beautiful the way they are. However, we want to change what we look like and be more confident, so we do what we need to do.
      Only lose weight for you, nobody else. It’s your life and your body. 🙂

  6. i believe that these are or friends, family, and SISTERS!!!!!!
    We Are Who We Are just like Ke$ha’s song! none of us are fat we just love food and BEAUTIFUL!!!!! screw what our boyfriends, family, and the “mean girls” tell us their just jealous and we need to unite and say IM BEAUTIFUL NOMATTER WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!!!!

  7. Im 14 and im around 5’3 and weigh about 162 but i look smaller im just muscular. My brother who i would die for is constantly calling me fat and other rude comments infront of all of his friends(who are in my grade). I just dont understand why he would do this i have my mother telling me i need to loose weight and it just hurts. Everybody calls me fat and ugly and im sooo upset over this i have no self esteem i always think people judge me beacause of what i look like. I just need help. I dont have any idea how to be confident in any way so if you could help i would really be happy. Thank you

    1. Sara: My advice to you is remember that your weight is not your worth. If your doctor says you need to lose some weight to become healthier, fine! Some people need to do other things to become healthier, like take a prescription drug. There’s no shame in working to become healthier. But if you lose the weight, you’re still the same person on the inside. Other people – including siblings – are cruel because they lack self confidence. You’re still awesome. Don’t believe them!

      This is what I would do….

      Sit down with my mom and brother and say, “Please, I want to say something. Let me finish because you speak. I know that I might need to lose some weight to get healthier, but I also know that I am a beautiful, kind, loving person and it really hurts me when you both put me down because of my weight. Brother, I would do anything for you and it really hurts me when you tease me, especially in front of other people. Mom, I know you are trying to help me but it also hurts. Maybe instead of just telling me I should lose weight, you could help me learn how to cook healthier recipes or go on walks with me after school so we can both exercise.”

      Also, if your brother doesn’t listen, just turn on your heel the next time he says something like that to you and WALK AWAY. You don’t deserve to hear that negativity. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

  8. The last sentance: WOW! That’s my favorite line to use. I think it’s so powerful and SO true!! Great blog 🙂

  9. I’m 15, I’m about 5’8, and I weigh about 125…I have three brothers, (2 older, one younger) Who are all very thin, (My oldest brother is 6’2″ and weighs about the same as I do..) My brothers all like to make jokes about me being fat, and even though I don’t think I am, I still have doubts every time I look at myself..I love my brothers more than anything, and I can’t help but think that if they understood that it hurt me, they wouldn’t do it so often, and then maybe I would be more comfortable with my size..

    1. You are well within a healthy weight range for your height and age. Can you talk to your mom about making your brothers stop?

  10. Oh. My. God.

    I am 13, and I have two sisters, a twin and an older sister who’s 15. My older sister and I always insult each other, but we still love each other. We always call each other ugly and fat. Today, I’m making a promise to stop it. No more “Lose some weight already.” She already obsesses whether or not she’s under 110 lbs. I promise that the next time I see her without makeup on, I’ll tell her she’s pretty.

  11. I just read this article and it really hit a chord with me.. then I went on facebook and saw this posted by someone I don’t know… I thought it was fitted. A skinny girl and a larger girl who understand that they are beautiful no matter what. It’s what’s on the inside that counts.
    My sister is 11 months older than me and constantly puts me down because she likes to get a reaction out of me. The sad part is it truly does hurt me and she doesn’t care at all. But even worse, she has so much wrong with her that she is self conscious about and that is why she tries to break me down. Because she is insecure with her self.

  12. When I was 10, my big brother who was 16 would always make me believe I was fat. Actually, I was pretty thin as a 10 year old, but he’d do anything to bring my spirit down. Every time he saw me eating a snack or something, he would say something like “Oink oink! Fat pig, you REALLY need to cut down.. Ew! You need a diet, fatty. You’re SO huge, nobody will ever like you, EVER, ugly loser…” Now, I’m almost 13, but his words still won’t leave my head..

    1. His words dont matter, I know that when youve been told something over and it gets to you. So try to look at yourself everyday in the mirror and say, “I AM BEAUTIFUL” because you ARE! I have recently been trying this, look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment. For example, “Your hair looks very nice today.” I know your brothers words hurt but you can choose weather to convice yourself their not true or you can stand up and know the truth:

  13. Oh my gosh. My brother is the biggest jerk ever. I’m 14 and I’m not really sure how much I weigh, but he calls me fat and chubby, and he calls me heavy set and beef cake and he calls me “the fat one” non stop. My parents tell me to ignore but that doesn’t help at all.

  14. and he also calls me ugly and stupid and says that i have no friends and that no one will ever marry me.

  15. someone will marry you and love you no matter what! You have to stand strong and not give jnto your brothers mean insults. I know it is tough but look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself this. ” I am beautiful.” Tell your parents that it really hurts you and it is making it hard for you to grow as a young women who believes in herself. We love you Caroline, check this website everyday for inspiring messages

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