How to Become Fat Talk Free

What is “Fat Talk”? 

 

Fat Talk isn’t about being overweight. In fact, Fat Talk has nothing to do with your size at all.

Fat Talk is extremely triggering of unhealthy behaviors, whether the comments are consciously processed or not. Putting yourself down verbally creates reverse inertia in all aspects of your life. Instead of getting healthier, Fat Talk will motivate you to overeat, skip your workouts, and stay involved in toxic relationships. Additionally, even if you don’t ‘hear’ your own Fat Talk, your friends and family members will, and it harms them emotionally, spiritually, and physically as well.  As Jillian Michaels said,"Fat talk is transcending….  It affects your reality and damages you professionally, personally, and physically."

 

How can we begin to stop Fat Talking?

 

  • Consciously correct yourself if you Fat Talk.  Replace those thoughts with something realistic and positive.
  • Don’t compare your body to others.
  • Appreciate your body for what it can do.  If you feel down and are Fat Talking, try going for a walk and enjoy being outside.
  • Turn a negative into a positive.  Instead of "I’m stocky," try "I’m strong!"
  • Never Fat Talk in front of your kids or friends. 

 

What About Fat Talking to ourselves?  Is it as bad if we don’t express it aloud?

 

Guilt is internal Fat Talk.  It is shaming yourself for not meeting a perfectionist ideal that is unattainable and determined by the rigid standards our society has created! If you wouldn’t say it out loud to a friend, why would you say it to yourself?

 

Maybe right now you’re thinking: "But a little guilt can be a GOOD thing!" or "Guilt is a normal reaction to indulging!" But, if guilt was healthy or "normal," it would be PRODUCTIVE and it would make you HAPPY.  Do you find yourself feeling guilty over food a lot?  Well, then — you’re repeating the same actions over and over again, and clearly… Guilt isn’t productive, it doesn’t work, and it only serves to lower your self -esteem. Guilt is a waste of time and takes away from productive things you could be doing with your time — meditating, studying, sleeping, calling your friends on the phone, and more.

 

  • You aren’t going to gain weight from one dessert.
  • You aren’t a bad person for enjoying dinner.
  • You aren’t weak because you were hungrier than normal.

 

How do you stop guilt? It’s so much harder to stop than Fat Talk — after all, we verbalize Fat Talk to others and it’s easier to "catch" ourselves in conversation.  Guilt, on the other hand, is this weird, creeping feeling that takes over you, ruins your day, and triggers the blues. I would say I cut down on my guilt thinking by about 90%, which I consider to be a big accomplishment.  I stopped guilting myself by really thinking about my eating in the grand scheme of life. Did that pizza make me gain weight? No.  Did it actually hurt my health in any measurable way that I ate a bunch of French fries? No.  Am I an awesome friend and hard worker who is so much more than the food she eats? Of course!

 

If there is something about your lifestyle that you want to change, be proactive and CHANGE IT. Guilting yourself about it does not work.  Taking action to move onwards and upwards does.  Every setback is an opportunity to learn, grow, and improve.

 

Join me on the quest to eliminate Fat Talk in all its nasty and evil forms from our lives!  Remember, it starts now… and it starts with you.

{ 94 comments… read them below or add one }

Murmur December 1, 2010 at 2:07 am

I sometimes see myself in such a negative way… thoughts that constantly occupy my head “my butt is too big.” “I have a weird nose.” “my complexion looks so much worse than so and so’s.” ” my hair is so frizzy, how does she make hers look so smoothe?!.”
I’ve been assured otherwise, “I love your butt in those jeans.” “you have a nice profile nose!” “your acnes hardly visible any more!” “wow, your hair’s getting really long.”
I also see others in a negative way… just this afternoon I talked about this girl with one of my friends, making fun of the way she dresses. I’ve caught myself saying mean things that I would seriously cry if someone said it about me… If I don’t want to hear these things about myself, why do I say them about other people?

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admin December 1, 2010 at 9:00 am

I think we say bad things about other people because we’re projecting our own hang ups. It’s good that you realize that you are doing it to other people as well as yourself because then it’s that much easier to stop it!

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Kelsey_Xoxoxo January 4, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Tomorrow at school I’m going to ask my teacher if I can donthis!!! ????

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Hannahj February 10, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Wow. When unread your blog it makes me want to cry. You are so great for putting all this time into helping this many people!! I’m going to tell all my friends about this website, because even the girls who are amazingly gorgeous with perfect bodies and everything just do not respect themselves!!!! I’m officially a fan :D

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admin February 11, 2011 at 12:12 am

Thank you Hannah!

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Katie M February 17, 2011 at 9:16 am

I just found a note in the bathroom at work :” No, this is not a trick mirror, you are really that beautiful”…made me smile. The website was written on the note as well and I decided to check it out…. It’s great, you are spreading a message that needs to get out there– keep up the good work!!

I am going to carry on the tradition and add a note to the bathroom down the hall.

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-A. May 17, 2011 at 9:46 pm

That video really inspired me! Thanks!

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Anniek June 12, 2011 at 12:10 pm

I love this website. It gives me so much power. Thank you!

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hannah August 30, 2011 at 11:53 am

the fat talk video made me cry. i’ve been having body issues recently; even though people say i’m very thin, i just don’t see it. i haven’t been eating and i want to be healthy and happy, i want to feel beautiful but it all feels so hopeless sometimes.

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Money September 10, 2011 at 12:49 am

Wow that video made me cry too.

I can’t believe there are more people with anorexia or bulimia than breast cancer. That doesn’t account for all the other women who are struggling with poor body image in ways equally as painful and destructive.

I struggle with an overeating disorder because of poor body image. Even though my work is strenuous and I run a few miles afterward… I feel that I haven’t earned the right to eat. I’ll starve myself until almost bedtime when, ravenous, I often consume 1000 calories or more in a single sitting. My weight yo-yo’s from periods of extreme bingeing to ‘perfect’ behavior.

All the while I spend all my time thinking about my body and probably at least an hour a day in front of a mirror loathing the parts I hate.

If I could change one thing about myself it would be fat talk. I hate hating my body more than I hate my body itself. I just want it to stop.

I’m glad my cousin posted this website on FB. I’m going to keep checking in and writing notes to myself and others. Thank you so much.

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Tom Sleifer October 1, 2011 at 12:55 pm

About a year ago a report came out that actually being fat is healthy. I have never been fat and I do exercise around 6 days a week. I did some research into this and I decided to gain some weight and become fat. The key is being fit and fat. I found out it would take about 6 months to go from 190 to 225. It was best to gain the weight slowly this way it would give my body time to adjust to the additional weight, plus once I became fat I would have troubles losing the weight.

I did gain the weight – the weight around 25 pounds went right into my stomach, I found to my pleasant surprise being fat was actually great, I found I did have increase energy and I like how I look even though by stomach does stick out over my feet.

The bad news is that since I now have 25 pounds additional weight in my stomach the weight pulls on my lower back and I have lower back pain. I decided instead of losing the weight weight which I realized at this point would probably be next to impossible because my body has become so accustomed to being fat at this point, that I was recommended that I should wear a girdle. I set up an appointment with a corsetier who gave me some consulting and fit me in a long legged high waisted boned and zippered panty girdle. The support in my stomach area was great I no longer have lower back pains and I can stay fat with a firm flat stomach, as long as I work out 6 days a week.

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Kat October 5, 2011 at 10:05 am

I was walking into a building on campus and could see my own reflection in the glass doors. I thought, “wow, I look so fat and gross.” I felt horrilbe and embarassed to even be out in public. I went to the bathroom and saw two notes, one on each mirror. They said, “You are beautiful,” and gave this web address. Just reading the note made me feel better. Reading this article was so enlightening. For instance, I never realized that fat talking around the people that love me could be harmful to them. Awesome and amazing website.

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Jada December 7, 2011 at 10:46 pm

I am so touched by this video!! I’ve seen it like 100 times!!! I’ve struggled with eating disorders in the past, and I was a very heavy fat talker. Sometimes I still do it, and it hurts me so much, I cry and scream becasue I think I’m fat, or I’ll gain weight. But after watching this, I feel better, less guilty, and happier. :)

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T.P. November 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

I watched this video, and cried. I cried for everyone who feels this way, myself included. I wish that people were not so mean. The People who make me feel the worst about my self, are my family. As though I am unworthy, because I am not 115 lbs anymore. I tell them, I am not 115 lbs, because i am not 20 anymore. I am not 115 pounds because I take medications to make me healthier. (Those medications are what made me so large) I was beaten down for years, by the people i love and value the most in my life. I started to stand up to them, and for myself… but they still beat me down. It does not matter that at 5’2 two years ago I was 265+ lbs, and now I only weigh 197. Sometimes nothing is ever good enough for some people. “Fat Talk” sucks, as much as the people who feel the need to “Fat Talk” me. I hope we all find our inner voice, strength and ability to realize we are all beautiful people.

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lulu February 5, 2013 at 12:15 pm

That video is soooo helpful. I didn`t know what was fat talking, but when I saw that video, it really helped me!

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