Transforming the way you see yourself one post-it note at a time
I have 2 kids, one just ocer 3 months and a two year old. Looking in the mirror and still loving my body has been one of the hardest challenges in a long time. With an over hang and strech marks its hard to say that I do love my body. Today though I looked in the mirror and though how lovely I looked standing there naked…Not sure why… Think I just now realize that even though Im not perfect, I have 2 perfect boys to show for it and I wouldnt change that for the most sexist body in the world!
@Peppa i would definitely have to agree with you. I recently just had a beautiful baby girl & although my tummy is stretch marked & my stomach is most definitely not as tight as it was pre pregnancy, i stand in front of the mirror & i smile! I’m a beautiful mother, woman, & wife. I tell myself every day.
We call the tiger stripes…you earned them being a real woman
That’s amazing!! I totally agree!
For the last two years I’ve been vegan, and the last year I went down a size. For a while I felt bad because in the suburban world being a thicky-thick is common and most appraised. But now I’ve learned that I’m an exception. I’m beautiful just the way I am. And I love the fact that I’m different from the rest!!Being vegan won’t allow me to be overweight and I love that!!I’m still beautiful and I’ll forever shine. I love my new healthy lifestyle and mind!!I’m better off than a lot of others!! I actually look and feel amazing!!Its just a brand new me to match my lifestyle..Go me!!
Well different from others, i dont feel i am fat. The point is i am too thin and I was always told by my mom that I am going to end up in ugly small boobs, looking short and ugly forever. This really hurts me as I always believe I need to use the A-cup sized bras forever.
Little boobies are a good thing! You can fit into more cute tops and bikinis 🙂
Some days i look at my body and I’m proud to show it off… other days not so much. i don’t have the biggest boobs which is very annoying and pathetic and I feel like I have a big stomach even though everyone tells me i don’t. I’m going to learn to love my body though because your blog is inspiring and you should be very proud of it. thank you(:
thank you so much for writing this, shows me im not the only one thinking this way.
my boobs are too small and my hips are too wide 🙁 I’m working on accepting my body as it is but it’s hard!
Who says it’s too small and too wide? THE MEDIA! BOYS! I say you are perfect.
thank you :)! you’re so nice
loveing your self is very hard. I to still have some issues. How every when i sit around and ponder how i look or what every one thinks, it brings me down. Negative self talk is hard on us. You need to remember to always Dress your self up. Not down. Sweat pants are comfy but a downer. Dress up. get up every morning and Do your hair and makeup. You will see the positive reflection of how this Effects you. Dance and sing in the shower. Make your self do it, And it ends up catching on in a positive note…..
This is soooooooo good. I hope people know that there is no ‘too’ something. There is only TOO beautiful, because we all are too beautiful for our own good! Your _____(body part you hate)______ is not ‘too’ anything. It’s really hard to get over this, because we have it drilled into our heads every day. But we CAN fight it!!!! We are perfect, and we need to accept that!!!!!!
I’m finding it hard to love myself but slowly getting there. I’m waaay too thin, never ever feel comfortable showing my legs! And allergic to makeup, reading this kinda helps me think positive!
This might sound crazy at first BUT to me being allergic to makeup is a good thing! Sure it’s fun to mess about with but on the other hand it stops you from putting it on when you don’t feel so good about yourself! My mum’s got sensitive skin too so she has never really worn makeup, this has subtley affected me because i was less encouraged to wear makeup instead of ingraining my self esteem issues deeper within me! Plus, i’m very thin too! I can eat fudge-loads of food and barely gain anything, i havn’t even got a backside! it’s just an area! But i’m learning to accept these ‘imperfections’, starting by not critisizing myself, if i see something i don’t like, i ignore it until i’m ready to see the unique beauty i have, god really doesn’t create junk, only art! In reality none of us need someone else to tell us we’re beautiful because we are always beautiful and anyone who reads this and thinks this doesn’t apply to them, STOP LYING TO YOURSELF! You’re perfect and if someone doesn’t want to see that then their loss and they’re not worth a double glance because they’ll only hurt you, you don’t deserve that! Be proud of your body guys and gals! it’s not too this or too that, it’s perfect! I hope what i’ve said has helped anyone, because these comments are very useful to me 🙂
This is great. i agree its so hard to just be happy with what you have. i do try but it soooo hard. i just turned 3o, i have a 2 yr old and a 10yr old. I just miss my old body but i wanna learn to accept its never coming back ! Lol. your words inspire me and helps to realize their are alot of women who struggle with this..
I just want say thank you so much for this blog! I have just moved to London and picked up a but of weight. I have been struggling to loose this weight and been beating myself up about for months now! Maybe I just need to love my body regardless and get this constant obsession for weightloss to stop ruining my life! Thank u, I am beautiful and so is every single other person on this planet 🙂
I read this and it help slightly but i think i need a bigger push. Most of the comments are probably people who weigh less then me. I feel so gross. I am 5’8 and over 240 lbs. Not by choice or sadly by anything i did. I have a lot of medical issues which sadly no matter what i do makes me gain weight. I have tried all diets. I don’t really eat a lot. Typical people would see someone as “Fat” as me and assume i eat over 6,000 calories a day. When i eat the normal 1,600 calories. My issue has just stayed over the years because i was once 130 lbs. But when i got sick at age 15, i slowly gained weight and as each pound got put on i got more depressed with my body appearance. Clothes shopping isn’t fun because as each size goes up and up you feel more gross with your body. I can do more then the average person. I can do 12 miles on a exercise bike. I can go on 5 mile hikes. Yet no weight as dropped. I’m still jiggly everywhere. My arms are like wings. How does someone get past feeling horrible about themselves when it wasn’t anything i did to make myself look this way. Feels very unfair. All comments are welcome. Us girls do gotta stick together.
I am so impressed with your fitness!!! Way to go Kaila 🙂 I think you are awesome. I am sorry you are struggling.
Thanks i appreciate it. I just wish i had a body like everyone else. I feel like a skinny girl or whatever stuck in a fat body. Learning to love myself will be the hardest.
I’m really sorry you have to put up with your sickness, and I’m sorry it makes you put on weight and feel bad about yourself. My medicine made me gain weight once, but only fifteen pounds. I lost it all but I still feel like I can never be the size I want. I hope you know, that if we ever met, I would think you were a beautiful person, weight doesn’t define who you are. 🙂
my friends tell me im too skinny….i try to gain weight vut i never put on apond…i eat all of the time and nothing seems to work…thats why i have decided to accept and love my body….
I am 32 and have struggled with body image issues since I was an adolescent. I have weighed as much as 150 and as little as 112 during episodes of anorexia and bulimia. I have been obsessed with exercise to the point of injuring myself from which Ive never fully recovered. I am currently healthiest (physically) I have ever been. I’m 5’4 and 127 lbs. I do 90 min of yoga 3- 5 times per week, and my pescatarian diet consists of minimally processed, organic fruits, vegetables and high quality proteins. Ive peen told that I’m pretty, beautiful, hot. I’m often told I look like Anne Hathaway or Rachel Weiz. I should feel pretty good about myself, right? Well I don’t at all. Most of the time I feel really ugly and over weight. I criticize myself all the time. I am constantly fighting the urge to make a plan to starve myself again. But Ive come to realize I hate my body regardless of my weight, size, muscle tone or whatever. I can always find something to criticize. I’m starting to think I would even hate my body if I actually were perfect. I feel like we women have been conditioned or brainwashed to hate our bodies and many of us do regardless of what we actually look like. I’m starting to realize its not the outside of me that needs to change, its the inside. Happiness doesn’t come from having the perfect body, or having lots of money, or living in a certain place, or even life’s accomplishments. Happiness must come from inside. Happiness is a choice. Happiness doesn’t even need a reason. I just wish I was courageous enough to decondition my mind from thinking that I’m not good enough, and replace all those negative thoughts with thoughts of love, joy, kindness, forgiveness. I want to love myself, inside and out. And I want all women everywhere to love themselves too. We would be so much more powerful if we did.
So very true. Happiness comes from within, we just all need to realize that the way our bodies look is not happiness, of course we feel better when we look better, but like you said a hot body isnt what is provides Joy. So I realize i need to fix my body and weigh less and eat better and take care of myself better, but also need to work on the inside and tell myself every day in the mirror that I am Gods child and i need to love myself the way he loves me.
Thank you SO MUCH for this. I am a pretty girl but am in a personally imposed hell everyday because of my weight. I am working to learn how to love myself even as I am now. This was very encouraging.
Girls, just remember….alot of designers are gay men…..they prefer no curves, no boobs, no hips, and need you to be built like a hanger to showcase clothes that no real person can afford. Oh yeah, and they design shoes like platform stillettos for you to balance on…..I like being a voluptuous bigg ddd with soft curves and latin hips ( great for dancing
swaying and shaking.
What if the person that is making you feel bad about yourself is your mother. She constantly tells me how “big” I am and that I shouldn’t eat certain things because it’ll make me “fatter.” She will grab my stomach or touch my love handles and say things like “oh my god! I can’t believe your so curvy!” I am mostly happy with myself. I work out and try to eat healthy, but I don’t go crazy with diets or restriction. But when I visit with my mother she can destroy my whole being. She can make me become obsessed with getting thinner or restricting. Thankfully I don’t live with her anymore so I can go to my home and get back on track with my positive lifestyle. I just don’t know how to cope with how she treats me and how it so strongly effects my thoughts. Suggestions?
I am so sorry your mom is doing this to you – i hope you realize how distorted her behavior is. Can you talk to a counselor at school?
ohh, so we love our body, we are overweight and keep eating McDonald, getting bigger and bigger while telling ourselves “I love my body despite of my size, I am big beautiful curvy woman”.
I don’t talk about people with medical issues, I talk about a lot of people out there deceiving themselves under the label “I love my body no matter what”.
instead of “I love my body”, I would say “I love being healthy”.
I will be 47 next week and I have been a size 10 most of my life except post pregnancy.. but iv always managed to lose that weight pretty easy.. but about 3 years ago I went to a size 12 – 13.. ( some 12s are perfect some are a lil tight so its hard to say) I know some people say and have said to me.. I wish I was that size.. and i am grateful in some respect but its not just the weight thats the issue.. there is a bigger problem.. cellulite now if I didnt have the cellulite I could handle the extra weight easier but to have both is an absolute nightmare.. I look in the mirror and want to cry.. and have done!! my husbane loves me the way I am..but I hate the way I am and that is affecting us .. as he gets upset when he hears me talk about myself in a negative way.. and it also is affecting our sexual relationship too.. only because of me 🙁 I know a woman who is confident/self assured/ and feels great with their bodies is more of a turn on for some men.. so I really need to learn to love myself my body with all its downfalls!!! I started a Vegan diet 3 weeks ago but still havent lost weight..even if I did lose weight I still could have the cellulte issue and there will come a time in my life where I will wish I was this size… because i know as I get older it only gets worse lol so I need to deal with this NOW!! I would be ever so grateful for any kind of advice at all.. anything that any of you have tried and found to work… I would also appreciate any advice on vegan diets and weight loss if anyone has or is a vegan and has lost weight!!
kaila, I am very impressed with you exercise ability. I am 5′ 8″ also, and 238. I have big hips, little boobies and that spare tire around my waste. I have a sedentary job, and need to find the motivation to get moving. I hate my body, and recently started negative talking myself, calling myself ugly words. It is very sad, But i do know my self talk needs to change quick, because it is making more depressed every day. I hate shopping because everything looks terrible on me. It makes me feel just a bit better that I am not the only one dealing with body image issues. Somehow I will overcome this negative self image and start loving myself, but for now i will take it one day at a time and start making changes toward improving myself.
I am a 47 yr old black female with old issues ,I was always teased as a young person about having a flat butt, at almost 48 yrs old I still struggle with body image.I have very wide hips ,but no butt, if i had enough money,I would get a butt surgery, not for vanity but to make myself feel good about me.
When I was 9, my big brother, who was 15, tried to make me believe I was fat. I was actually slightly skinny for my age, though. But he would do anything to make me feel bad. Like, every time he saw me eating a snack or something, he’d say stuff like “Hey, fat pig! Oink oink! You should really cut down and go on a diet. Look at how fat you are! If you were at least skinny, there would be less attention towards your ugly face! Fatty, if you keep eating, nobody will ever like you.” And I really DID believe it! I was miserable for so long because of that! I tried dieting and not eating as much, and I was only in grade 4!! Seriously!
I’m almost 13 now. I don’t think of myself as fat anymore, though. I’m stronger than that now. No matter what he says, I’ll always like who I am. I don’t need other people to define who I am. I can do that on my own.
S im a 28 yr old mom of the cutest baby boy and even though i try to pretend i. Happy with my body and think that i have a beautiful heatlhy baby boy my weight and body still gets the best of me! I cant even stand to look in the mirror anymore because all i do is cry! My husband gets frustrated and tells me he loves me the way i am but it still gets to me! I eat healthy… I do eat junk food occasionally but i stay around 1400-1500 cals a day and have one day. Week where i might have a 2000-2200 calorie day! I go to the gym 4-5 times a week doing 3.5 miles n a treadmill and do about 30 mins of weight training. I drink hardly anything but water and my doc says im very healthy but need need to lose the weight. Now i. 5′ 5″ and weigh 218 and even though i maintain this diet and exercise routine i cant even seem to lose a single lb. telling myself atleast im healthy doesnt help when i feel like i struggle so hard for nothing! The worst part of my life is buying clothes! I cant stand it! Imdont care if i have to buy a certain size… The number on the label doesnt matter as long as i like the waupy it fits but m at an inbetween stage and buy one size and too tight and if i go up a size its too big and makes me look alot bigger than i am and not to mentiion tops! Most plus or larger women have a bigger bust and i have a small chest. Most shirts the bigger u buy the bigger the chest area is so i can never win in that dept. the more tops i try on that are just way too big in the top just make me even more depresses… I really am lost on what tomdomto learn tomloce my body! Someone please help me
S im a 28 yr old mom of the cutest baby boy and even though i try to pretend i. Happy with my body and think that i have a beautiful heatlhy baby boy my weight and body still gets the best of me! I cant even stand to look in the mirror anymore because all i do is cry! My husband gets frustrated and tells me he loves me the way i am but it still gets to me! I eat healthy… I do eat junk food occasionally but i stay around 1400-1500 cals a day and have one day. Week where i might have a 2000-2200 calorie day! I go to the gym 4-5 times a week doing 3.5 miles n a treadmill and do about 30 mins of weight training. I drink hardly anything but water and my doc says im very healthy but need need to lose the weight. Now i. 5′ 5″ and weigh 218 and even though i maintain this diet and exercise routine i cant even seem to lose a single lb. telling myself atleast im healthy doesnt help when i feel like i struggle so hard for nothing! The worst part of my life is buying clothes! I cant stand it! Imdont care if i have to buy a certain size… The number on the label doesnt matter as long as i like the waupy it fits but m at an inbetween stage and buy one size and too tight and if i go up a size its too big and makes me look alot bigger than i am and not to mentiion tops! Most plus or larger women have a bigger bust and i have a small chest. Most shirts the bigger u buy the bigger the chest area is so i can never win in that dept. the more tops i try on that are just way too big in the top just make me even more depresses… I really am lost on what to do learn to love my body! Someone please help me
S im a 28 yr old mom of the cutest baby boy and even though i try to pretend i. Happy with my body and think that i have a beautiful heatlhy baby boy my weight and body still gets the best of me! I cant even stand to look in the mirror anymore because all i do is cry! My husband gets frustrated and tells me he loves me the way i am but it still gets to me! I eat healthy… I do eat junk food occasionally but i stay around 1400-1500 cals a day and have one day. Week where i might have a 2000-2200 calorie day! I go to the gym 4-5 times a week doing 3.5 miles n a treadmill and do about 30 mins of weight training. I drink hardly anything but water and my doc says im very healthy but need need to lose the weight. Now i. 5′ 5″ and weigh 218 and even though i maintain this diet and exercise routine i cant even seem to lose a single lb. telling myself atleast im healthy doesnt help when i feel like i struggle so hard for nothing! The worst part of my life is buying clothes! I cant stand it! Imdont care if i have to buy a certain size… The number on the label doesnt matter as long as i like the way it fits but m at an inbetween stage and buy one size and too tight and if i go up a size its too big and makes me look alot bigger than i am and not to mentiion tops! Most plus or larger women have a bigger bust and i have a small chest. Most shirts the bigger u buy the bigger the chest area is so i can never win in that dept. the more tops i try on that are just way too big in the top just make me even more depresses… I really am lost on what to do learn to love my body! Someone please help me
Hi. I’m Asian and I was skinny now fat. I have a thick tire around my waist. Fast fashion stores in my country don’t sell clothes of my size so I often wear men’s clothes and that makes me sad. I have imported some nice dresses from US. I’m happy to have women’s clothes of my size, but I feel worse because my tire ruin the silhouette of the dress. Baggy men’s clothes are less embarrassing for me.
I want to love my body. I need to accept my fat body or I’ll start refusing to eat in the near future, I’m afraid. I wish I could go out comfortably wearing a dress with my tire. I believe I can if I could love my fat body as it is. It’s so difficult you know. To begin with, I’ll try to stop bitching about my bodies. Thank you for the great article!
I’m an Asian lady, 27yr old.
My challenge is to accept my size as it is.
I’m the biggest in my family and everyone is giving me comments on restricting my eating habits.
I blame myself and shape on not being engaged until now.
All of my friends and sisters got married except me.
I’m happy the way I’m:)
Thnx of all previous comments.
I liked them all.
Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It really
useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others
like you helped me.
I have always been a size 10 and loved wearing clothes. Since I have gotten married I have gained weight and am a size 12. My ibm is it called is 1 point over the healthy mark into overweight. I love to zumba and do this or try 3 times a week sometimes less sometimes more. I have always loved to exercise and have been doing it my whole life. I am happy with myself for doing this. I am having a bit of a struggle excepting my 12 body which effects the way i believe i feel with my sex life. Any advice?
My coworker asked me what size I wear today.
I’m size 2 or 0, depending on country sizing conventions. I did not tell her my size, I simply said “I’m too ashamed to tell.” I worry people will judge me if they find out I’m SO tiny. I wish someone would tell me small is alright too. But all I keep hearing is how big is beautiful and how you should embrace your curves and how size 2 is reserved for bitchy models who eat nothing but kleenex wipes for dinner.
I am not that person.
I absolutely love this. I am a Holistic Health Coach specializing in woman’s health and wellness and all my programs are based on self love and acceptance. My weight loss program is all about being happy and healthy at any size. Our bodies are amazing creations and should be celebrated!
Anna Mary Louise
Certified Holistic Health Coach
I have trouble loving my body because I don’t like my skin, especially on my face. It’s nothing unusual except it gets pretty shiny and I have pretty regular breakouts. How do I feel confident when it’s so ugly? I don’t want to wear massive amounts of makeup but I don’t want to be embarrassed by acne. I’m 20 years old and I feel like this is never going to end.
I’m sorry – that can really be embarrassing, I know where you are coming from because I also get adult acne around my cycle. Have you spoken to a doctor about it? There’s sometimes hormonal reasons behind it.
been there, done that 🙂 I will now stop wasting my time on feeling bad about my body, and give it a good- night rest 🙂 thanks for the motivation, I want to learn how to be good to myself…
I’m 14 and I row an awful lot, I’m starting to get really good but I’m quite muscly, not a beefy sort of way just quite bigger than most girls my age. The horrible thing is that I tell myself that if I want to be slimmer then I have to stop rowing but I love it and don’t want to give it up. i am quite tall for my age (5,10) and i know that bigger people=bigger limbs and build, its just natural, but I am quite definitely muscly and I hate it when my friends who I think are wonderful start complaining that they are fat, it makes me wonder if they’re fat then I must be huge!:( my one secret love is I have a really flat toned belly which I love but I can’t exactly show it off-not that I want to get my belly out all the time- I would love to be smaller and still be a good rower, how do I accept that it’s just not going to happen and I have to love my athletes figure because it helps me to achieve. Some advice would be really great xxx
I’m a big girl and I’ve been trying oh so hard to loose my weight for well over 4 years! Im 20 and I’m almost 400lbs and thinking about it everyday gets to me. It’s like I can’t have a happy life anymore. I mean I am still activity thankfully. I can still run around with my siblings outside but a 40 step staircase beats the hell outta me, but somehow when I get to the top of running it out I manage to still walk. It only hurts to breathe for a few minutes but I’m determined to not fail and make myself look weak. I want to be healthier and I want to feel beautiful! I’m crying typing this because I have nobody to vent to that won’t judge me and how I feel. Nobody knows the pain I go through every day just to keep a smile on my face to conquer the days. I’m glad that I can sleep that’s like the only time I feel like I have no problems. That’s my get away. I f*****ing hate feeling like this. I need help but can’t get it around here. 🙁
I’m 51 years old, and I think I have a good body for my age, but I can’t tell you at the times I cry because of hurtful things people say about my butt. My husband’s sisters and some of the women at work are constantly making rude remarks about me having no butt. And yes, I’ve even had a few men make the remark also. I know it sounds crazy, but I take my mirror and try to look at myself and I’m not really dissatisfied with what I see. I have had some tell me they think my butt is fine but more not than so. I’ve been looking at fat injections but can’t really afford that. I wear padded underwear sometimes but I don’t really like to. How can you feel good about yourself when you constantly have others putting you down? These aren’t people I can just stay away from, they are a part of my everyday life. If only they knew how much it hurts…..I really think that’s what they want!
I am in the best shape of my life yet I still find things to pick on myself about (thighs, tummy, etc). I keep thinking this is the youngest I will ever be in life and I want to lay the foundation for self acceptance so when I do get older, and smooshier, I will still find myself lovable–but I need to get there first.
I am so fortunate to have a man in my life that loves me for me. He is always complimenting me and telling me all of the things he loves about me, about my body; but I have a hard time accepting it (and accepting that it might be true). So here’s to 2014 the year I learn to love myself… 😉
I hate my body but most of all I hate my boobs they r small and I want them bigger, my bf says my boobs and body r perfect but I don’t believe that for a minute, I am very unhappy bout how I look and how I feel bout myself. Any ideas on how I can change my out look on how ugly and disgusting I feel plz let me kno thanx
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