Face Your “Flaws”
Courtesy of Meredith
This morning I decided to face one of my fears/flaws: my upper arms. I recognize we all have flaws, but is one of the few physical ones I dwell on. Even back in my swimming days I hated them and always felt that they are unusually flabby for the amount of work I’ve put into them recently.
I seriously have not worn a sleeve shorter than the average t-shirt since high school. (If I have worn a tank/sleeveless dress, it was with a cardigan). Well, today I decided to actually wear one of the shirts that has been hanging in my closet patiently for a few weeks. I did this in preparation for bearing my arms publicly, whether I want to or not, at my best girl friend’s wedding in May. Also, my mom thinks I should face my fear and wear my graduation dress without a cardigan. We’ll see.
I put on the shirt and it had shorter sleeves than I would normally wear. My friends recognize one of my nervous habits is to pull down my sleeves near my underarm because I hate my upper arms so much. Well today I tried desperately but the shirt simply wouldn’t cover the flab. I left the house without a jacket or sweater and let my bat wings fly free. It was scary and I was constantly wondering if people were looking at my arms all morning, but by the afternoon I kind of stopped caring. I started looking at other women’s arms less and started concentrating on the fact that the shirt I was wearing made me look downright HOT.
I am far from over the fear of my flaw (one of many) but I think today was an important step in the right direction. I might not wear another daring shirt tomorrow, but maybe this weekend?
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I over came my fear of showing my upper arms when I was in high school! I was like you and would never show my arms until I met this girl and she gave me the confidence I needed to wear sleevless tops! Havent looked back since and I love my arms now.
Wow.
I hate my arms,I’m so self-conscious about them but I will DEFIANTLY do this.
I WILL wear a tank-top tomorrow!
Because Florida is not a place to be wearing long sleeves/Cardigans during the summer.
i feel the same about arms too so i when go out next time no sweater or jacket because i am beautiful the way i am
wow im absolutely conscious about them but at the same time i honestly dont care what they think the only thing im traumatized about would be my thise >.>
I hate my forearms, i feel like they’re man arm becasue of the hair on them. it’s silly, i know. and I’ve seen worse then mine and all my friends and family, and even people who arnt my friends and family say that they’re not bad at all. but I’ve still hid in my sweaters for 2 years at school, and how that i;m going into my 3rd year of high school I will year t-shirts more often without sweaters! becasue I am beautiful!
wow! i am exactly in the same boat with you. if i’m wearing a tank top or a sleeveless dress, a cardigan or a jacket is a must for me!
i remember i was in LA walking down on melrose ave. it was so hottttt. i had a hot pink casual tube dress and a long black cardigan (thin wool) over it it was so hot… so that day i decided to take my cardigan off and walked with my bare arms in the street. it was not easy to do that. i lasted about 10 minutes with my bare arms in public! i had many mixed emotions. i kept telling myself “i look damn hot in this pink dress” but then i looked at my arms… my arms ruined my whole image. people were looking at me and made me think that they’re looking at my arms! maybe they were thinking how awesome i looked in this pink dress or maybe it was the fat and hideous arms that they were looking at but either way.. that was the first and last time i ever did in public. that was about 5-6 years ago and since then…no one on this planet saw my bare arms in public again, except my bathroom and bedroom, and my exes, of course haha.
but you inspire me. i’ll have to give it a try. one tinyyyy step.
thanks for the link, caitlin. at first i clicked on the link, i was looking at this site and was very confused as to why you sent me this link. but then i saw the word “arm” and i started reading it
I had a similar experience to this, although my body hate was some keloid scarring i had on my chest from when i had a very bad case of chicken pox. For several years i refused to wear any kind of top that had a neckline that would show these scars, in the fear that people would make judgements. I had very low self confidence during this early part of my teenage years, as i not only worried about these scars, but i also had severe acne which made me feel even more worthless. However, one day my mum decided she needed to help my past my fear of showing my scars, and bought me a beauiful top with a lower neckline. I loved the top and desperately wanted to wear it, but i was still concious about wearing it in public. In the end, to help boost my confidence, i got my hair cut and styled and wore the top in public for the first time that day. Since that day, i have never looked back, and although occassionally i still get a bit upset about it, everyone has down days! I have learnt to accept that my scars are part of who i am.
The best advice i can give someone who wants to get over any fears that have about a part of their body, is to stop comparing themselves to others, and to try to realise that every person is unique, and that is what makes them special. Also, i’d suggest choose a specific day to go for it, and take time that day to do something that makes you feel as confident and as special as possible, whether that be a haircut, or wearing ypur favourite pair of shoes!
Good luck to all you wonderful people
Good for you! I’m so glad you were able to overcome your fear. You are so perfect just the way you are. Don’t ever forget that! Also, I say go for the graduation dress without a cardigan! You’re so beautiful, and perfect, go for it!
I just had my first day of high school, starting as a Freshman. The thing im most self conscience about is my love handles, either that- or my red complexion of a face. I always feel really ugly, (so I always try to cover up with makeup, except for cover up because it gives me acne), but I hear sometimes that people call me really pretty. I dont know if theyre saying that because they want to be nice, or I really am. By the way, I have bulimia. But anyways, lately Ive been working on trying to love my flaws & look in the mirror everyday & forget about the things I dont like, be happy about the things I do like, & tell myself Im beautiful. So far, Its kinda working for me.
I’m so BLEEPIN happy for you!!!