Dealing with Bipolar Disorder Beautifully

Courtesy of Emily

Year 8 was the worst year of my life. I was stuck in a class for every class with this class I’d hated in Year 7, it was Italian. Anyway I used to sit at the front of the class and not communicate with anyone. I’d always suffered with social anxiety and it was always ten times more difficult for me to make friends than anyone else. Some of the kids in the class went about their business without talking to me, however some would tease me because of my frizzy hair, red skin, who I sat with at lunch… Mum wanted me to move to a different class but I refused – I’d never liked change or being the new kid.

Months passed and I started to get worse. When I left the class I’d still be in a zombie state. My close friends and family started to notice a change but having never experienced mental illness before thought it would pass. I tried seeing counselors, doctors, and calling helplines but I’d think I was wasting their time. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t sleep, eat or relax and I started getting psychotic. What that meant was I’d start thinking the articles on the news were about me, I’d take the blame for things I didn’t do for people who didn’t care about me and I became suicidal. Admitted to hospital I was eventually diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder – a disease where you can go very high and very low, too. I’d been high the year before but it wasn’t as extreme as the low.

I moved schools and although I still had some meltdowns I’ve learnt to know the symptoms of when I’m getting sick, that medication is as important to me as insulin to a diabetic and I’m working towards a future in mental health nursing where I can share my experience and help more kids like me. I was interviewed for an article about my illness in a uni magazine my friend wrote and it helped a relative come to terms that she needed help and I’m sure it helped others which is a really empowering thing.

I still suffer with body issues and seeing myself as beautiful every day. I’m quite overweight but I’m starting to realize that if every body was the same that would be very boring. And hey, I use Moroccan Oil for my curly hair and I have beautiful green eyes so I AM beautiful – and so are you! My friend introduced me to Operation Beautiful and it’s amazing!! I hope more young (and older) people come to know about this site and remember mental illness can be deadly so if you start feeling down get help – because every life is a life, and that’s so beautiful.